Helping around the home

Hi everyone

My DS is 10 years old and has aspergers. He is a terrific boy, but he just doesn't get the need to help around the home. He will do very little, I have convinced him to put his dirty clothes in the washing by the simple expedient of only washing clothes that are in the washing basket. But I can't convince him to do anything else, even the simple things like putting his dirty dishes in the kitchen (I'm not even asking him to put them in the dishwasher at the moment) he just won't do. When the rest of the family are workign to clean up, he is hiding in his room. He doesn't see the need to help us to do anything. Any suggestions for how to get him to do this.

Thanks

Jenny

I'm guessing you are trying to tackle a number of problems all at once. My suggestion is to focus on one simple thing and keep at it. I think it becomes overwhelming when we try to take on too many issues at once. I've experienced this many times, even recently, while trying to work out issues with one or both of my kids. I think it's far better to put a lot of effort into one thing and hopefully accomplish that goal than to try to attack several problems and make minimal progress.

Instead of expecting him to help when everyone is working on clean up, perhaps it would be easier just to get him to help you only and work out one or two things that you might do together. My son often is more helpful when I ask him to help me and we do the work together. If I ask to him to do something on his own, he just won't do it. Again, perhaps keep it small and build up little by little.

By the way, you might accomplish the dirty dish problem in a similar way to the dirty clothes problem. Designate the dishes that will be his. If he doesn't take care of them, he doesn't have the utensils or dishes to eat with. He might come around more quickly that way.

Hope there's something that you can use from my $0.05 or so.

Hi ljsinoz

I am very tempted to just leave his plate where it lies, but sadly a plate is a plate is a plate (at least in our house, they are mostly identical) I don't think it would have the same impact as his clothes. He would never wear his sisters clothes, but would happily use any plate. And of course the milk wojuld go off if I left it out. I'll have to keep reminding him, I feel like I'm nagging, but nothing else seems to work. Same as convincing him to put his shoes away, otherwise we can't find them before school. I just find it frustrating to have to remind him of everything, while his sister (3 years younger) is so organised (probably from listening to me reminding her brother for ever).

Jenny